The world of innovation has always been propelled forward by bursts of creativity. However, not every idea ends up being destined for ultimate greatness. In fact, throughout the years, numerous patents have been filed for inventions that seem entirely devoid of practicality. There have been patents filed for things as wild as a flying machine that’s powered by bird-like wings, to a hat that’s intended to serve as a food warmer. We’ll take a look at some of the most bizarre patents for ideas that just never ended up taking off.
1. The Bird Diaper (US Patent No. 5,941,229)
The bird diaper was designed for pet birds. Its grand purpose was to protect against undesirable messes as birds flew around homes. Even though its purpose seemed practical enough in theory, convincing a bird to wear one was a whole another problem entirely.
2. The Banana Suitcase (US Patent No. 6,257,085)
A hard-shell case was explicitly designed to keep a single banana from ever getting bruised. It was a niche invention, and it never ended up gaining that sought-after mass appeal.
3. The Anti-Eating Face Mask (US Patent No. 4,344,424)
This was a device that was designed to cover the mouth, and prevent the wearer from overeating. It was essentially an uncomfortable cage for one’s lower face. The extreme dieting tool shockingly never made it mainstream.
4. The Kissing Shield (US Patent No. 5,163,447)
This was a thin plastic barrier that was intended to be held between two people while they were kissing. This would work to prevent the spread of germs. Even though its aim was to promote proper hygiene, it really only ever ended up making the romantic moments unbearably awkward.
5. The Self-Operating Napkin (US Patent No. 4,635,635)
This complex contraption was designed to pipe a person’s face when they moved their arm toward their mouth. It just ended up looking like a Rube Goldberg machine, and was in no way a practical resolution to messy eating.
6. The Baby Cage (US Patent No. 1,505,360)
This might be the wildest idea yet. The baby cage was a wire-frame cage that was designed to hang from apartment windows so that babies living in cities were able to get fresh air. It somehow gained some popularity in the 1930s, but naturally it’s now looked upon as both a bizarre and extremely unsafe invention.
7. The Motorized Ice Cream Cone (US Patent No. 5,971,829)
The motorized ice cream cone was a battery-powered cone that was designed to rotate ice cream so that you wouldn’t have to ever move it with your tongue. The invention was created to solve a problem that no one was ever bothered by in the first place.
8. The Dog-to-Human Translator (US Patent No. 6,952,165)
This was a device that was intended to translate a dog’s varying barks into human speech. Even though it was exciting enough in theory, it never ended up delivering on the ultimate promise of interspecies communication.
9. The Portable Nuclear Shield (US Patent No. 4,057,056)
The portable nuclear shield was a tent-like structure that was meant to help safeguard individuals against explosions. The effectiveness of the device was completely questionable at its best. It was never sought out for real-world situations.
10. Snake Walking Collar (US Patent No. 6,490,999)
This patent was designed for people who wanted to take their pet snakes out on walks. It consisted of a collar that wrapped around a snake’s body, and could then be attached to a leash to prevent the snake from slithering away.
