18 Rodney Dangerfield Jokes That Still Have Us Laughing

Rodney Dangerfield, the legendary comedian known for his self-deprecating humor and iconic catchphrase “I don’t get no respect,” remains a beloved figure in the world of comedy. With a decades-long career, Dangerfield’s unique blend of wit, charm, and relentless humor endeared him to audiences worldwide. From his humble beginnings in Queens, New York, to his rise as a comedy superstar, Rodney’s life is a testament to perseverance, talent, and the enduring power of laughter. Join us as we explore some fascinating and lesser-known facts about this unforgettable comedy icon.

1. On getting a second opinion

“I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.”

2. On ‘coming over’

“A girl phoned me the other day and said… ‘Come on over, there’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home.”

3. On his psychiatrist

“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.”

4. On underwear feedback

“This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.”

5. On making marriage work

“We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.”

6. On his birthing doctor’s reaction

“When I was born, I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.”

7. On a parent’s love

“I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”

8. On happiness

“My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.”

9. On the sanctity of marriage

“I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.”

10. On jealousy

“My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.”

11. On growing up in a rough neighborhood

“I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.”

12. On the wisdom that comes with age

“At twenty, a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy, he still wants to reform the world, but he knows he can’t.”

13. On ‘directions’

“I’m taking Viagra and drinking prune juice – I don’t know if I’m coming or going.”

14. On childhood

“When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.”

15. On the difficulty of marriage

“It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.”

16. On the birds and the bees

“What a kid I got. I told him about the birds and the bee, and he told me about the butcher and my wife.”

17. On teenage acne

“I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day, I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.”

18. On his father’s love

“My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.”