15 of the Funniest Quotes From ‘Caddyshack’

‘Caddyshack’ will stand the test of time itself as one of the funniest films folks near and far have been able to experience. Danny Noonan, played by Michael O’Keefe, is a teenager who has fallen into a rut, and ends up working as a caddy at the infamous Bushwood Country Club. The club is infested with all manners of pretentious, downright insufferable members, but Danny Noonan needs to raise the funds for his college schooling. As he works to collect votes for his college scholarship that’s set aside for caddies, he ends up volunteering his services to caddy for an esteemed club member, Ted Knight. Danny buckles under the weight of pulling this off during the “Caddy Day” golf tournament, while he does what he can to process the constant stream of New Age advice that he receives from the rich golf guru Ty Webb (Chevy Chase).

1. “Whoa, did somebody step on a duck?”

Everyone has their own approach to the moment that they are caught in a public place, yet need to pass the gas. Clearly, Al Czervick couldn’t be bothered to have a care in the world about passing gas in public.

2. “Doodie!”

The most iconic, nightmarish moment that can occur at any public pool. Sometimes the kids and even the adults that are around can’t be troubled to use the nearby facility. What ensues will always be nothing short of full-fledged emotional hysteria by all that are unfortunately caught within the vicinity.

3. “Cinderella Story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become The Master’s Champion.”

If this isn’t every greenskeeper’s most cherished dream, while they slug away at a long shift at a snobby country club, I don’t know what is. This scene takes the cake as one of Bill Murray’s more ridiculous dialogues throughout the film.

4. “A flute with no holes, is not a flute. A donut with no hole is a danish.”

Clearly, Ty Webb (Chevy Chase) isn’t too caught up in if he’s actually imparting any practical wisdom to his disciple in this scene. It’s all about the delivery too. Pure comedy gold.

5. “Oh, it looks good on you though.”

Rodney Dangerfield was a master in his own right at pulling off the comical eye roll while roasting someone to their face. This scene in particular speaks volumes to that. Judge Smails never stood a fighting chance.

6. “Well, the world needs ditch diggers too.”

Poor Danny’s feeble attempt to drum up anything remotely close to sympathy from Judge Smails was met with a response completely devoid of that human emotion we call empathy. When talking about his lack of college funds, Smails recommends a career in ditch diggers. Like, my man. What?

7. “In order to conquer an animal, I have to think like an animal, and whenever possible, look like one.”

What’s so hilariously evident in this iconic scene from “Caddyshack” is that Bill Murray’s character views the task of eliminating a gopher from the precious green grounds of the country club as being one of the most important undertakings of his life. I mean, hey, the task wasn’t necessarily easy.

8. “Check me if I’m wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they’re going to lock me up and throw away the key.”

There are different degrees of miscommunication, and this scene right here captures an absolutely catastrophic instance of the proverbial misheard moment. Yes, the key would be tossed away. However, when everything is cleared up, you can see Bill Murray’s character light up with glee like a Christmas tree.

9. “Hey Smails! My dinghy’s bigger than your whole boat!”

The battle that rages on between Judge Smails and Al throughout “Caddyshack” is nothing but legendary. The lengths these two characters go to to one-up each other exceeds rationality altogether. They’re insane. Suffice to say, Al certainly had his shining moment in this scene.

10. “Thank you very little.”

If you were digging around for a new way to respond to someone else’s compliment in a way that clearly showed them that you need no praise, you just found your new one-liner. No need for the “thank you very much.” All you need to give is but a little thanks, because you’re used to being exceptional just like Ty.

11. “By height.”

Yet again, here we are with another great example of Ty showing himself to be a golfer of such a caliber that he will continually refuse to take the game and anyone around him seriously. When asked about how he measured himself against other golfers by the ever irritating Smails, Ty silenced Smails very quickly.

12. “You must’ve been something before electricity.”

There he goes again with the delivery, the timing, the vocals. Rodney Dangerfield could light up a room with his comical nonsense. This scene in particular stands out as one of those unforgettable moments that Rodney Dangerfield delivered with his character in “Caddyshack.”

13. “So I got that goin for me. Which is nice.”

If you’re told by the Dalai Llama himself that you’re set to achieve a state of full consciousness whilst on your death bed, then maybe you can put the day’s worries aside for a while. At least that’s what Carl Speckler (Bill Murray) was told while he allegedly caddied for the Dalai Llama. The best part about Carl throughout “Caddyshack” is that it’s excruciatingly difficult to tell what he’s dreaming up and what’s actually happened in his life.

14. “Hey everybody! We’re all gonna get laid.”

Maybe one of the most easily likable part about this ridiculous movie is that it doesn’t make any effort at all to present itself as being this serious thing that needs to make sense. The more nonsense the better in the world of “Caddyshack.” Thus what a line to close the whole spectacle out.

15. “We have a pool and a pond. Pond’d be good for you.”

Okay, what makes this scene so iconic is that it was apparently added in at the last minute, and the actual roast (the pond bit) was all improv. Plus, the two characters have their own very pronounced styles of humor throughout “Caddyshack.” This quick scene pays proper homage to both those styles of humor.