21 Comedic Events In History That Will Always Be Funny
We too easily overlook the moments in history that stick out for being so absurd and funny. People are weird, and we’ve always been weird. Some weird people end up in positions with a wild amount of power. This can naturally lead to all kinds of widespread nonsense.
1. The ancient King who couldn’t ride a horse.
“Ancient Korea had special recording officials, whose job was to record everything. They were considered separate from the government, so the emperor of the time wasn’t allowed to give them orders or tell them not to record something. Of course, some emperors would try anyway.
On one occasion, King Taejong (15th century) fell off his horse while hunting. The recorder nearby wrote it down. The emperor insisted that it be removed from the record, and even tried to have the report destroyed. This led to some nonsense as the emperor kept destroying their work, but the recorders kept copying it and hiding it in increasingly obscure places. And of course, recorded the whole thing as it happened. A few hundred years later, and the only thing that emperor is famous for is trying to hide the fact he fell off his horse.” – u/lankymjc
2. The guy who sold the Eiffel Tower. Twice.
“The con man who sold the Eiffel Tower twice and got away with it.” – u/hailesalasse
3. The unconquerable spy pet monkey.
“During the Napoleonic wars a French ship sank off the coast of Hartlepool England. The only survivor was the captain’s pet monkey, which he always dressed in a French military uniform. The locals freaked out because the law was that any French military found on British soil must be executed as a spy. So they ordered the standard punishment spies. Death by hanging. Except instead of dying, the monkey just kept climbing up the rope. Because it was a monkey.” – u/korar67
4. King Xerxes tried to punish the sea.
Yes. When Persian king Xerxes punished the sea for ruining his bridge. He tried to build a bridge across the Dardanelles to get to Greece faster but storm destroyed the bridge. Infuriated with the sea, Xerxes ordered his soldiers to punish it by whipping it with chains 300 times and poking it with red-hot irons. Handcuffs were also tossed into the water to symbolize the sea’s submission to his authority. – u/norman_bates
5. Andrew Jackson’s vulgar parrot.
“Andrew Jackson taught a parrot how to swear and it had to be removed from his funeral because it upset the attendees.” – u/disthrowaway5768
6. The confused division of Trier.
“In 1945 the Americans were pushing through Germany. General Eisenhower sent General Patton a message, instructing him not to take the city of Trier because it would require 4 divisions to seize the city. Patton sent a message back saying, have taken Trier with two divisions… what do you want me to do, give it back?” – u/saynotoyestono
7. The origin story of the Thagomizer.
“In 1982 cartoonist Gary Larson drew a cartoon of a caveman giving a classroom lecture, pointing to the spikes of a stegosaurus dinosaur tail and calling that the thagomizer after the late Thag Simmons. That particular arrangement of tail spikes had no name at the time, so scientists who were fans of Larson unofficially named it the thagomizer.” – u/doublestitch
8. The army that made a friend.
“In 1866 when going to war, Liechtenstein’s army of 80 men came back with 81 men after making a friend from the enemies side.” – u/davoslostfingers
9. The possessed rabbit that went for Jimmy Carter.
“President Jimmy Carter was attacked by a rabbit while paddling around in a rowboat. The president was minding his own business rowing around a small pond and fishing when a rabbit left the shore and swam deliberately towards the boat, apparently crazed. Carter splashed the rabbit with water, driving it away from the boat.” – u/bookem_danno
10. Germany’s brilliant wooden planes.
“In WWII the Germans built a fake airfield (with wooden fake planes) as a decoy in Holland. When they’d finally finished it, the British dropped a wooden bomb on it.” – u/fly1away
11. The Kettle War.
“The Kettle war. it was the 8th of October 1784. The Dutch kingdom and then Holy Roman Empire had a short naval battle and the only casualty was a kettle full of soup that got hit by a cannonball and that was the only shot that was fired.” – u/AlwaysHappy4Kitties
12. The Spanish Civil War turkeys.
“In the Spanish Civil War, some Nationalist pilots attached live turkeys to supply drops intended for a garrison under siege, so it would slow the fall when they flapped their wings. And we all know that turkey is also delicious.” – u/Maso_TGN
13. The lads that flooded the onion market.
“In the 1950s, two guys ended up controlling 98% of the onion market in the US, which was done by convincing the farmers that grew them to sell to them otherwise they would flood the market with onions. A little bit later, they flooded the market with onions to the point where a 50lbs bag of onions went for 10 cents, which was less than the bag containing them. These guys ended up making millions off of this, and because of them, trading onion futures in the US is now banned.” – u/spacewulf28
14. Fabio and the goose.
“That time Fabio got hit in the face by a goose on a rollercoaster.” – u/contacthonest2406
15. Stacey King’s great game with Michael Jordan.
“One game where Michael Jordan scored 69 points and Stacey King scored 1, a reporter asked Stacey what he thought of playing in that game and he stated, I will always remember this as the night that Michael Jordan and I combined to score seventy points.” – u/ctopherv
16. The unluckiest guy in Pompeii.
“That one guy in Pompeii that survived the outbreak of the Vesuvius just to be crushed by this huge boulder hurtling through the air. It‘s the 79AD version of being crushed by a falling piano.” – u/perpurocaso
17. The Swedes got paranoid.
“The Swedes thought for ten years that Russian submarines were in their waters, spying on them, due to underwater noises they detected. Turned out it was just herrings farting.” – u/superpipouchu
18. Benjamin Franklin almost started a war.
“In the late 1700’s, a letter appeared in the major London newspaper complaining that England was being forced to take deported French prisoners. The British were furious and wanted it stopped. The French became upset – because the uproar implied that England was too good for French prisoners. Both governments became involved, and they were on the brink of war before it all unraveled as a hoax. The original letter, it was learned years later, had been written by Benjamin Franklin – who was spending 6 months in England as an ambassador – and was simply bored. Just stirring up trouble and sitting back and watching.” – u/wobblewobblewobble
19. The Greeks didn’t mess around with their columns.
“In 1821 Greece was under control by the Turks. In Greece’s fight for independence a Turkish garrison was besieged by Greek fighters on the Acropolis. When the Turks were running short on bullets they began to dismantle the marble columns to use the lead within as bullets. The Greeks sent them ammunition with the message: here are bullets, don’t touch the columns.” – u/kaysea112
20. The Great Emu War.
“The day the Australian infantry took on 20,000 wild emus in an attempt to protect farmlands. The best part: It was declared an emu victory.”
21. War of the Bucket.
“There was a war in Italy about a bucket.” – u/deleted