19 Dystopian Posts From LinkedIn Lunatics

Any time that you decide to hop onto LinkedIn you need to ready yourself for all kinds of crazy posts. Some of these posts are going to be so far-fetched that you might laugh. Other posts though are basically designed to give you terrible anxiety spikes. It’s hard to make sense out of what posts are true, and what posts are being pushed to the top of your feed just to make you feel that much more hopeless about the state of the job market. If you believe in the latter, you’ll probably end up using LinkedIn that much more to placate your anxiety by churning out job applications. Funny how that works out. These LinkedIn posts are on a whole another level though.

1. “Sure, the owner would lose $2,700.”

A tweet from Graham Stephan explaining the costs of buying a $1 million home, highlighting a $200,000 down payment, a $5,600 mortgage, and $1,000 in taxes, insurance, and maintenance, for a total of $6,600 per month. It suggests renting a similar house for $3,900.
u/556_tac_driver/via reddit.com

2. “I want you to start before you are even hired, or I’ll fire you.”

A social media post detailing a job hiring experience. The post talks about a new hire who arrived early on their first day and suggested that they start a day earlier, but the writer decided not to keep them, stating the job wasn't the right fit.
u/fancynothings/via reddit.com

3. “Home sweet home.”

A humorous text exchange about working from home. The boss tells an employee to work from home, but assigns a small closet with a bed and sink as their new 'home' in the office. The employee is also told to pay £750 rent per month. The boss concludes with "Never, ever ask me if you can work from home.
u/bimsir737/via reddit.com

4. “Trying to sleep while this lunatic wants to network.”

A LinkedIn post showing a photo of a minimalist hotel room with three single beds, white linen, and modern decor. The post caption contrasts viewing the hotel as a $100/night stay versus a prime networking opportunity. The user highlights differing perspectives.
u/tilapiaty/via reddit.com

5. “Fact checkers are brightening my days.”

Screenshot of a LinkedIn post by someone named Simon discussing the benefits of his remote, meetingless team. A comment by someone named Sonny humorously points out that the company's LinkedIn page has only one employee listed.
u/therealone/via reddit.com

6. “Randomly insult two generations for reach and reactions.”

A social media post from a financial planner sarcastically lists expenses millennials and Gen Z incur—like overseas trips, $2,000 bachelor parties, dining out, gym memberships, daily Starbucks, and new outfits for occasions—implying these hinder affording homes.
u/butmomitsr/via reddit.com

7. “Way to further a brand by calling job applicants losers.”

Image showing a LinkedIn post by an anonymous user. The post reads: "Ask job applicants to film a 1 minute video introducing themselves. Most folks will be too lazy to do it. The losers will be afraid to do it. The entitled idiots will get mad you asked for extra work and didn't pay them to do it. You're left with the top 5%." 

In the header, it mentions the user sold a service company for 7 figures and is a self-storage operator with 1.9 million square feet.
u/elegantbroccoli929/via reddit.com

8. “Imagine bragging about rejecting an offer.”

A screenshot of a LinkedIn post shows rejected offers from the University of Cambridge for a Master of Laws program (2016-2016) and Harvard University for a professional certificate (2016-2016) in ContractsX: From Trust to Promise to Contract.
u/pizzaguy7712/via reddit.com

9. “Took him 10 years to realize it.”

A Facebook post expressing frustration with LinkedIn after using it for 10 years. The user mentions sending 1,524 CVs to various companies, organizations, and the UN, resulting in zero feedback, interviews, progress, or success. The post advises against using the app.
u/colapop/via reddit.com

10. “At last, some sanity.”

A LinkedIn post with a profile photo at the top, featuring a commentary on the difficulty of hiring after 30 interviews without success. The author suggests hiring qualified individuals who fit with the team, emphasizing there is no perfect candidate.
u/flavortownhottub/via reddit.com

11. “Putting together a team to sue people for me, for free.”

A LinkedIn post by Shaun, a Founder & Executive Director, seeking a pro-bono legal team to handle defamation cases related to slander and libel against him. He requests interested legal professionals to message him on LinkedIn. The post has 108 likes, 5 comments, and 10 reposts.
u/buckeyeevol28/via reddit.com

12. “Ouch.”

A LinkedIn post where a user announces partnering at Deloitte starting June 1st, mentions being on maternity leave, appreciating Deloitte’s diversity efforts, and returning in September. A critical comment below from an "Audit Associate at EY" reads, "No one cares.
u/deleted/via reddit.com

13. “He’s not confessing, he’s bragging.”

A screenshot of a social media post is shown. The post describes an interaction during a job interview. The interviewer asks, "How are you?" and the candidate responds, "Counting down the hours 'til the weekend haha." The post concludes the candidate was not a culture fit.
u/hucklebuckhernandez/via reddit.com

14. “This feels dystopian to me.”

A person wearing a suit is holding a sign on public transit that reads, “HIRE ME LOOKING FOR DATA ANALYST / DATA SCIENTIST SKILLS: PYTHON TABLEAU SQL EXCEL CALL ME.” The person's face is scribbled over. Social media icons and engagement metrics are visible at the bottom.
u/oilgroundbreaking738/via reddit.com

15. “This guy belongs here.”

A social media post from a creative consultant encouraging young professionals. The post advises not to worry about earning less early in their careers, emphasizing the value of learning. It concludes with motivational words to embrace and enjoy the career journey.
u/darkjedi203/via reddit.com

16. “I’m the only coach you can trust.”

A social media post expressing skepticism about individuals with numerous academic degrees and accomplishments like Bachelor's, Master's, Doctoral degrees, author, keynote speaker, and coach, suggesting they lack real-world experience despite their education.
u/stablegenius81/via reddit.com

17. “What a miserable outlook on life.”

A LinkedIn post from a Multifamily Syndicator suggests working 4 hours on weekends adds 208 hours a year, equal to 26 additional workdays. It advises starting work at 4 am to finish by 8 am, claiming it provides an entire day off and sets one apart from others.
u/newyorkrealestate19/via reddit.com

18. “Had us in the first half, not going to lie.”

A LinkedIn post by Mohammad highlighting the cost of a daily £3 iced latte over time (£15/week, £60/month, £720/year) totaling £7,200 over 10 years. He humorously notes this amount is still insufficient for a house down payment, encouraging readers to enjoy their latte.
u/vitskremdes/via reddit.com

19. “Finally found one in the wild.”

A social media post by a Fractional General Counsel discussing the difference between vacations and trips. The post describes the author's experience of not taking vacations since starting their firm, due to the need to always be attentive for their family and work.
u/spindoctor21/via reddit.com

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