21 Witty Comebacks and Roasts That Deserve Gold Medals

We can all appreciate any time we cross paths with someone who has an effortless, ever sharpened wit. Witty comebacks specifically can make an otherwise boring conversation take on a whole new entertaining life of its own. These folks and the witty comebacks that they dished out are in an impressive league of their own.

1. “First, acquire $3 million from a rich family member.”

A screenshot of a Twitter exchange. The top tweet by someone called Eddy Elfenbein suggests investing $3 million in an 8% Treasury bond to earn $20,000 a month in passive income. The response tweet by Young Parik humorously remarks, "Finally some advice for the common man.
u/toberichlady/via reddit.com

2. “He has a point.”

A social media post shows a headline about a thief returning a stolen car to scold a woman for leaving her 4-year-old son alone in the vehicle. Below it, a tweet by Professor Barclay comments, "Imagine getting lectured by a car thief and him being right.
u/un14real/via reddit.com

3. “Dave Chapelle and Joe Rogan.”

Two men are seated across from each other in a podcast studio, each with microphones and headphones. Both men have minimal or no hair. Beneath the video, a comment with numerous likes jokes that they are among the richest comedians due to saving on shampoo.
u/bitbiderabbi/via reddit.com

4. “The ability to be creative.”

An image of a text conversation. One person says, "Close your eyes and you can play any game in your mind, even Paper Mario." Another responds, "Paper Mario is trash." The first person replies, "Close your eyes and imagine yourself being a more likeable person, and then open them and weep.
u/arenne/via reddit.com

5. “Might not even be the real Mark Zuckerberg.”

A tweet by user Gravelord NEETo features a side-by-side comparison photo of a smiling person and a wax figure. The tweet humorously suggests that the Madame Tussauds wax model of Mark Zuckerberg looks more lifelike than the real Mark Zuckerberg.
u/enchantedessence/via reddit.com

6. “Certainly a hot take on Gordon Ramsay.”

A smiling young man with curly blonde hair is standing in a room. There's a comment below his image, saying "This guy looks like if Gordon Ramsey decided to take skin care medicine at 29." The photo also shows a currency symbol and the amount $14.09 at the top.
u/bitbiderabbi/via reddit.com

7. “One of the more creative insults that have come around in a while.”

A shirtless, tattooed man with sunglasses and a backpack stands outdoors, under a caption saying, "Tell me what's on your mind." Below, a comment humorously asks someone to tell "Johnny Downey Jr." to put a shirt on and finish "Pirates of The Avengers 6: Infinity Pearls.
u/artymf/via reddit.com

8. “Nah, that just hurts.”

Screenshot of a Twitter interaction:
First tweet: "I sent him like 104 reels while he's asleep rn" with 916K views, 12 retweets, 50 quote tweets.
Second tweet: "HE REPLIED TO ALL 104 REELS INDIVIDUALLY STOP"
Third tweet: "love hits crazy when you’re both unemployed
u/giganticehtel2904/via reddit.com

9. “Not with the cheating on Wolverine.”

A car heavily scratched on the hood and side panels, resembling deep claw marks. The image is captioned "she caught me cheating and keyed my car…" and a tweet response jokes "Bro was cheating on Wolverine," referencing the claw-like damage.
u/marigoldmmm/via reddit.com

10. “The age old debate on who the next James Bond will be.”

Screenshot of a tweet with a picture of a man in a suit. The tweet reads, "First he'll host the Oscars and then be announced as 007. Big year for Mr. Holland." A reply says, "We want 007 not 005'7''.
u/longresident9953/via reddit.com

11. “Not the whole generation though.”

A tweet by Dan Sheehan (@ItsDanSheehan) with his profile picture on the left. The tweet reads: "Baby Boomers did that thing where you leave a single square of toilet paper on the roll and pretend it’s not your turn to change it but with a whole society.
u/fantasticcattle296/via reddit.com

12. “A tough day for those lions, indeed.”

A meme with four images of a lion with a fringe-like mane in a zoo enclosure. A tweet below says, "His girl don’t even wanna look at him," referencing a lioness in the last image who looks away. The header states zookeepers deny giving the lion a haircut.
u/sweetsarah3/via reddit.com

13. “The reason I love my wife.”

A text conversation on a black background. The first message reads, "Can you buy toilet paper today?" The response reads, "Taylor Swift books?" The next message says, "I didn't ask for 1 ply," followed by the reply, "Most brutal shutdown.
u/therolandhill66/via reddit.com

14. “So yes, if a bad smell could be seen.”

A person with long hair and a beard wearing a wide-brimmed hat is shown smiling at the camera. The text above the image reads, "Kid Rock looks like body odor in physical form.
u/slideedge/via reddit.com

15. “Australians ain’t ever living the Olympics down.”

A meme with a grilling scene featuring hot dogs and burgers. Text reads, "Dear America, Putting hot dogs and burgers on the grill is not 'BBQ' or 'Barbecuing,' that's called grilling. Sincerely, All of Texas." Below are comments debating, with Australia defending BBQ.
u/infinitythegod/via reddit.com

16. “Those are some long fingers for sure.”

A hand with long, manicured nails painted a light pink is shown against a blurred background of a street with buildings and parked cars. A few humorous comments are overlaid on the image, referencing the hand's appearance and comparing it to various objects and scenarios.
u/extremerun4518/via reddit.com

17. “Pink like salmon.”

A man, wearing a light pink shirt, is seen on a television screen. Beneath the screen is a comment section displaying a comment that reads, "imagine finding a shirt that is the same colour as you," with 22,258 likes and 68 replies.
u/majesticambiiton33/via reddit.com

18. “Oh, so it’s going to be like that.”

Screenshot of a tweet by Tom Morello recounting a humorous exchange with a barista, and comments below comparing it to a similar interaction involving Tony Hawk. The tweet describes being recognized often, and the comments joke about the similar experiences.
u/okquantity5091/via reddit.com

19. “That’s just plain old self-destruction.”

Text meme with the caption: "every time i do something stupid my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund." The profile picture and name are obscured by a blue rectangle.
u/tennndermoon/via reddit.com

20. “The worst part is the accuracy of this.”

A man in an orange polo shirt stands with one hand on his hip, leaning against a podium in a lecture hall. A YouTube comment below reads, "He's the type of guy who shuts kitchen drawers with his hip." The comment has 926 likes and 31 replies.
u/breakablelemon3945/via reddit.com

21. “The new car name must be Plankton.”

A bicycle covered with a green car shell, making it appear as though it has a car's body and a bike's wheels. There is an orange traffic cone beside it, and a white vehicle is parked on the street in the background. Text above reads, "Can someone please explain?" and below it, a caption says, "Bike Wazowski.
u/candyflosscove/via reddit.com

About Author