21 Clever Comebacks We Wish We Had Thought Of

Whether it’s an in-person shouting match or an online argument, the power of a clever comeback is unmistakable. But because of adrenaline and the pressure of the moment, we often only come up with the smartest things to say while replaying the argument over and over in our heads for hours or days later. Here’s a group of people who nailed the comeback in the moment. May they be an inspiration to us all.

1. “He is honest. The best kind of doctor.”

A tweet by a user named Dana Bad (@baddanadanabad) reads: "i got botox and i asked the dr 'how many years younger will this make me look?' and he was like 'zero. you’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten botox.'
Glass-Fan111 / Via reddit.com

2. “Weird motives”

A Facebook post with the text: "If we all just switched to cursive and stick shift cars, we could cripple an entire generation." Below, a comment reads: "I love how you all talk [expletive] about a generation you raised like it's their fault and not yours." Reactions and shares are visible.
metrochurch / via reddit.com

3. “Getting owned by their own kids”

A tweet from Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) reads: "my daughter was wearing a flannel hoodie so I said 'hey, the 90's called' and she replied 'yeah cause they couldn't text' and ?!?$^#@^#*^$ I'm getting really tired of my kids owning me." Dated Jan 29, 2021, at 4:14 AM.
BMChris / Via reddit.com

4. “Why would you even reject the jacket?”

A social media exchange: One person says, "Some guy in my lecture just offered me his jacket cause I was shivering...I would have taken the jacket if he was cute" with a sad face emoji. Another replies, "Maybe the cute ones would have offered if they thought you were also cute.
NailsageSLy / Via reddit.com

5. “Whatever helps”

An image of a tweet with a headline reading, "Jeff Bezos pledges to donate majority of his $124 billion fortune to fight climate change and unify humanity," and a response from user Willie Muse (@Williesillie2) stating, "Someone got visited by 3 ghosts last night.
AyAan2022 / Via reddit.com

6. “Imagine how much harm them do”

A tweet exchange is shown. The first tweet reads, "My children will get 'privacy' from me when they can pay their own bills and feed themselves. Until then, you do what I say. Ain’t [expletive] negotiable. We not friends." The reply reads, "I haven't spoken to my mother in ten years. Welcome to your future.
Glass-Fan111 / Via reddit.com

7. “Anyone use an ad blocking software?”

A social media post by a user named Shafeeq, with the handle @Y2SHAF, reads "2 unskippable ads" in response to a YouTube post saying, "you just made food. you're at the table. laptop open. what are you watching first?
thhoney08 / Via reddit.com

8. “That’s a bill dollar burn”

A tweet from Matt Wallace stating, "Elon Musk is going to put Apple out of Business!" followed by a reply from slate asking, "did he buy it".
farWorse / Via reddit.com

9. “Easy way to make money!”

A tweet by Eddy Elfenbein suggests buying an 8% Treasury bond with $3 million to earn $20,000 monthly in passive income. Below, a tweet by Young Parik humorously states, "Finally some advice for the common man.
-Hal-Jordan- / Via reddit.com

10. “Rush that man to the burn unit.”

A tweet from @RobProvince shows two images of a woman, one with styled hair and makeup, and another with her hair in a bun, wearing glasses, and a hoodie. @srrrhmlllr replies, "What a weird way to announce to the world that you’ve never had a girl sleep over.
NotPennyBoat-815 / via reddit.com

11. “My thumb is the size of a nuke explosion”

A split image shows two comparisons. The top shows the sun and moon appearing the same size next to a quote suggesting they are equal in size. The bottom shows a burger held up to match the size of a nearby car, implying a humorous perspective trick.
Due-News4850 / Via reddit.com

12. “Are you really a good person?”

A social media exchange is shown. Blake Moore's post reads: "How do atheists decide between good choices and bad choices?" Corby Collins replies: "If you need the threat of eternal punishment to be a good person, you are not a good person." Time and date stamps are included.
A_Prawn_in_a_sock / via reddit.com

13. “Having principles”

Screenshot of a Twitter exchange: First tweet from @vallavaraiyan states, "if a beautiful woman disagrees with me i will immediately change my views. i have no principles." Reply from @theekundavai suggests, "well maybe you should have principles," followed by agreement from @vallavaraiyan, "you're right maybe i should.
Phtive3n / Via reddit.com

14. “Not to mention charging you for telling you that you don’t have money.”

Two tweets are shown. The first tweet from Chase humorously addresses why a bank account balance is low, offering frugal advice. The second tweet from Public Citizen criticizes a bank for paying its CEO $31 million and receiving a $12 billion bailout while lecturing the poor on money management.
Present-party4402 / Via reddit.com

15. “Twitter has gotten funnier recently.”

A tweet from Elon Musk with the text, "And ... we just hit another all-time high in Twitter usage lol," is followed by a reply from Frank Lesser that says, "Rome has never been this brightly lit at night! -Nero.
BelleAriel / Via reddit.com

16. “Bro has everything sorted”

Screenshot of a tweet by "MogTheUrbanite" stating that playing video games for more than 2-3 hours a week is wasting your life and sarcastically comparing it to functional alcoholism. A reply points out the original poster's 20,700 tweets since October 2020, equating to 40 tweets per day.
Ibrahim17_1 / Via reddit.com

17. “That’s some seriously old beer!”

A Reddit discussion where one user claims America invented craft beer and compares beer strengths. Another user counters, mentioning that their local craft breweries are older than the country. Both comments receive varying upvotes.
via reddit.com

18. “How delusional you have to be for this”

A group of people in colorful clothing are dancing inside a Target store. The text above the image claims that a Target employee called the police on them for dancing, while additional context below the image states that filming and dancing are against Target policy.
via reddit.com

19. “God created cancel culture”

Two social media posts discussing cancel culture. The first post by Nitaa_xo says, "I hate cancel culture. Imagine God cancelling you because you did or said the wrong thing." The second post by DavidEatsViagra responds, "The very first Bible story is God cancelling two people over an apple lmao what.
via reddit.com

20. “He just nailed it.”

A man is ordering food at a restaurant, surprising staff and patrons with his fluent Chinese. Underneath is a humorous comment from David Xiong, who shares how he, an Asian man, ordered food in perfect English at McDonald's, and no one cared.
via reddit.com

21. “To really show him he should buy 100 copies.”

A screenshot of a Twitter exchange. Owen Jones tweets: "Why stop there? Buy 10 copies and burn them, that'll really show me." Len Cogdon replies: "I’m going to buy your book then burn it.
via reddit.com

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